The lil Hamburger
by ShellyMoon
Summary: If your in the mood to laugh READ THIS FANFIC! This is probably the wackiest DBZ fanfic you will ever read! VERY WEIRD it's mainly about Vegeta and this lil talking hamburger! Rated PG-13 for VERY crude humor! **CHAPTER 7 UP**
1. Don't Eat Me!

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ or any of the characters mentioned in this fanfic that were created by Akira Toriyama. But i do own copy rights over the lil hamburger^_^ Because I created it!!! MWHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!! ENJOY!  
  
BEWARE: if you feel that you have problems handling strange, demented, bazaar, out-of-the-ordinary, wacko, just-plain-crazy, makes-no-sense-type-things don't read this fanfic. LOL O_o  
  
.::The lil Hamburger::.  
CHAPTER ONE---- (Don't Eat Me!)  
  
  
Vegeta had been sitting on the couch for over three hours just waiting for Bulma to return home from the store.  
"Where is that woman?!" screamed Vegeta, Trunks over-heard his father yell as he walked in through the side door. He ran into the living room to see why he was yelling.  
  
"What's wrong dad?"  
  
"I'm hungry! And that blasted woman hasn't returned from the market yet!"  
Trunks stared at his father pullzed.  
"YOUR MOTHER?!" screamed vegeta  
  
"oh..." commented Trunks.-" Whatever!" Trunks left his father with those words as he ran up the stair-case and made his way into his room.  
"Where could she be? I WANT MY POT-ROAST!!" cried Vegeta.  
  
"Why don't you just order take-out or something?" Questioned Bra, as she walked in through the front door.  
  
"Because....I'm... Well that is..... What I mean to say is.... But I just... I mean I....-OK!" Vegeta picked up the phone and dialed the number that was on the refrigerator.  
"Hello?" answered the person on the other line.  
"Yes hi, I want to place an order for one Happy Meal Please, extra ketchup on the burger!!" Said Vegeta.  
  
"Extra Ketchup? Burger? WHAT?!!? You have the wrong number!" yelled the man in confusion.  
  
"I don't care! I want my food! Now... where was I? Oh yes I want one of those pretty barbie toys too!" Vegeta exclaimed.  
  
"What?" said the man.  
  
"Huh?" Mumbled Vegeta.  
  
"Wha?" said the man.  
  
"Who?" asked Vegeta.  
  
"how?" asked the man.  
  
"when?" questioned Vegeta.  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!" yelled the man.  
  
"what's your name?" aksed Vegeta.  
  
"My name?" asked the man.  
  
"YES! YOUR NAME!" yelled Vegeta.  
  
"It's...- Hey wait a minute my mother told me never to give my name to men with strange pointy hair." Commented the man.  
  
"How old are you sir? And how do you know I have strange pointy black hair?"  
  
"I'm 41, and I see all!" told the man.  
  
"O--K?" said Vegeta.  
  
"I never said that!" complained the man.  
  
"Said what?" asked Vegeta.  
  
"That your hair was black!" Yelled the man.  
  
"And I care... WHY?" screamed Vegeta.  
  
"Because my pants are too tight!" Yelled the man.  
  
"That's nice..." Said Vegeta as he slowly hung up the phone.  
  
"OK, Now to dial the 'correct' number!" Yelled Vegeta as he dialed the 'correct' number. (((A/N~ heheheheehehe)))  
  
"Hello?" answered the woman.  
  
"Hey! I want a Happy Meal with a barbie toy, and a pepsi cause I think young even though I'm a coot with cooties." Said Vegeta.  
  
"Ok." said the woman puzzled. -" Will that be all?"  
  
"No I need a new pair of undies too!" yelled Vegeta happily.  
  
"sir, we only sell food." answered the woman.  
  
"Undies are eatable!" Answered Vegeta.  
  
"OK, that'll be $11.89"-"what's your address?" asked the woman.  
  
"My mother told me not to give away my address to people who smell funny." Said Vegeta.   
  
suddenly Yamcha appears from the sky and comes hurtling down toward the ground of Vegeta's floor.  
"Your Mommy's dead!!!" screamed Yamcha.  
  
"And so are you! DIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Vegeta as he sends Yamcha into the next dimension.  
  
"Now where were we?" asked Vegeta to the woman, as he picked up the phone.  
  
"Sir first of all how can you smell through the phone, and second of all I NEED your address if you WANT food." said the woman.  
  
"What about Monks?" asked Vegeta.  
  
"What about monks???" questioned the woman.  
  
"YOU STUPIY!!!" yelled Vegeta.  
  
"OK, sir give me your address or I'm hanging up!" Yelled the woman.  
  
"YOUR A PAIR OF BLUE PANTS!!!" screamed Vegeta as he hung up the phone. -"The nerve of that Monkey calling me a Roach!" yelled Vegeta.  
  
"Dad she didn't call you a roach. I was listening on the other line." Stated Bra.  
  
"GO LICK YOURSELF!!" yelled Vegeta as he locked his daughter in a boombox.  
Suddenly Vegeta hears A knocking on his door.  
"Who could it be???" Asked Vegeta to himself.  
  
"I'm not going to answer it so that I can spend the rest of my life wondering who was at the door on the night of May 11th at 12:13 am." commented Vegeta.  
"ANSWER THE FREAKIN DOOR FATHER!!!!!" yelled Trunks from his bedroom.  
  
"Poo Poo on you!" Said Vegeta. waving his butt at trunks's door.  
  
"WHAT'S THAT SMELL???" yelled Trunks.  
  
"nothing...." said Vegeta innocetly.  
  
"ALRIGHT I'M A COMING!" yelled Vegeta as he ran to the fishtank.  
  
"No body's there!" Yelled Vegeta,  
  
"Yo man! Come around to the front door!" Says a funky sounding voice.  
  
"Why would anybody be knocking from a sick, deranged place like my front door???"-"Oh well!" Said Vegeta as he answered the door only to find a small hambuger waiting on the steps.  
  
"Hello Fred." greeted Vegeta.  
  
"WHOA! First of all their is some'in reaky on your head! And second of all my name ain't no Fred." said the lil hamburger. (with extra ketchup)  
  
"That's my hair...." Said Vegeta.  
  
"I'm sorry." Said the lil hamburger.  
  
"That's ok I do it too!" Said Vegeta.  
  
"Do what?" asked the lil hamburger.  
  
"Pick my nose DUH!"-"what were we just talking about?" asked Vegeta.  
  
"You scare me, you know dat?" asked the lil hamburger.  
  
"Can I sniff you?" asked Vegeta.  
  
"No." Said the lil hamburger.  
  
"Your a Hamburger!" cried Vegeta.  
  
"Mr. Vegeta. I already knew that." said the lil hambuger.  
  
"May I eat you now?" asked Vegeta.  
  
"Why in Kami's name would you want to eat a talking walking hamburger?" asked the lil hamburger.  
  
"Because... Helmets are cool!" said Vegeta.  
  
"That's nice..." said the the lil hamburger.  
  
suddenly android 17 appears out of no-where.-  
  
"boo boo beap doop!" cried 17 in a mad, terrorfied rage of agony.  
  
"Zello." Says Vegeta,  
  
"Zello?" asked 17.  
  
"YOU are not a helmet." said Vegeta,  
  
"I know.." Said 17.  
  
"But I'm so cute!!!! Kiss me darling!" cried 17.  
  
"No, that's ok." said Vegeta.  
  
"Fine, be that way! I'm going home to mother!" yelled 17.  
  
"uuuhhh... I'm married." Said Vegeta.  
  
"Don't remind me!" cried 17.  
  
"I gave you the best years of my life and this is how you shoe me in my butt??? well I won't stand for it!!!!" Cried 17.  
  
"Now I'm used to scaring myself, but this is just too weird." Said Vegeta.  
  
"No you are wrong for the first time!!" Cried 17.  
  
"I've been wrong before..." mummbled Vegeta.  
  
"So has my grandmother!!!" said 17.  
  
"really?" asked Vegeta.  
  
"Yeah..." mummbled 17, embarressed.  
  
"oh...." said Vegeta.  
  
*cough*-*cough*-*cough* coughed 17.  
  
"so what were we argueing about?" questioned Vegeta.  
  
"grilled cheese I think." said 17.  
  
"Ok! Y'all are scar'in me right'bout now!" blurted the lil hamburger.  
  
"Well I'm scared of my underwear." commented 17.-"that's why I never where any!"  
  
"Really?" questioned Vegeta.  
  
"yeah!" yelled 17 happily.  
  
"Neither do I!" said Vegeta.  
  
"Well that's comforting to know." commented the lil hamburger.  
  
"We know!!" yelled Vegeta and 17 happily.- suddenly Vegeta heard a knocking on his front door.  
  
"HEY! Maybe it's Bulma!" cried Vegeta as he raced to the door.  
  
"Hey Vegeta." greeted Goku as Vegeta's front door swung open.  
  
"Goku?? what are you doing here??" screamed Vegeta.  
  
"Well I was just hungry and I heard that you had talking hamburger! So I came by to check it out!" Explained Goku.  
  
"How did you.... What did you... When did you.... WHAT ARE YOU!?" screamed Vegeta.  
  
"I'm a.. Hey! Wait a minute! You called me Goku!" cried Goku in pleasureful mocking.  
"N-..No I didn't!!!" covered Vegeta panticly.  
  
"YES! Yes you did!!!" laughed Goku.  
  
"Shut Up! I said Smelly arms pits, not Goku!" cover Vegeta.  
  
"No you said Goku!" laughed Goku even harder.  
"YOU SAID GOKU! YOU SAID GOKU! YOU SAID GOKU! YOU SAID GOKU! YOU SAID GOKU! YOU CALLED ME GOKU! YOU CALLED ME GOKU AND NOT KAKAROT!!!! HA- HA - HA -HA -HA!" mocked Goku as he danced around the room, and went summer-saulting down the hall-way chanting those words over and over again.  
  
"STOP IT!!! I SAID KAKAROT!!!" cried Vegeta with all his might falling down on to his knees, ripping the hair from his head.  
  
"Undies.." laughed 17.  
  
"Thank you." said Vegeta, picking himself up off his knees and hugging 17.  
  
"Olive Juice is taistless." stated 17.  
  
"Duh." Yelled Vegeta happily.  
  
Vegeta suddenly stared at the lil hamburger- "Why are you here?!" Vegeta screamed.  
  
"I dunno man, but I'm bout'to leave right'bout now... yea.. so.. uuhhh.. bye!!" The lil hamburger said as he struggled to hop away but realised he'd been stopped by Goku who was now holding him in his hand.  
  
"Do you taiste good?" Asked Goku stupidly.  
  
"I like to think so man.. why?" The lil hamburger asked.  
  
"May I taste you?" Goku asked smiling.  
  
"Please don't." said the lil hamburger.  
  
"Awwww.....Why not?" Goku asked disapointed.  
  
"Because he wants me to taste him first!!!" Cried Vegeta snatched the lil hamburger from Goku.  
  
"HEY!" Goku blurted in anger.  
  
"Hey is for horses! GO eat some!" Vegeta cried as he licked the lil hamburger.  
  
"DUDE! I think I'm suppose to tell an adult when you do that.." said the lil hamburger.  
  
"Why whatever do you mean? I'm an adult!!" Vegeta cried in joy.  
  
"That's the scary part.." The lil hamburger said blankly.  
  
"tell me!!" Vegeta cried.  
  
"You don't count though..." Said the lil hamburger in disgust.  
  
"Why not?" Asked Vegeta.  
  
"Because you'the one who licked me man!" said the lil hamburger.  
  
"I don't have underwear on!!" Cried Vegeta in joy.  
  
"I think I recall you telling me that already." Said the lil hamburger with a fearful look on his face.  
  
"Who are you???" Cried 17, snatched the lil hamburger from Vegeta's grasp.  
  
"I'm the lil hamburger, I was reincarnated!" Explained the lil hamburger.  
  
"You were what????" Vegeta, Goku and 17 all asked at the same time.  
  
"Reincarnated! It means he was in another form and body in a previous life.." Explained Gohan as he walked in through the open front door.  
  
"Where did you come from?" asked 17.  
  
"I'm sorry but I couldn't help but over hear your conversation! I was just taking my morning jog and ran by hear and noticed a talking hamburger so I decided to--" - "SHUT UP with the details dorkoff!!! YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T SNEAK UP ON MONKEYS LIKE THAT YOU KNOW! We have feelings too....." Said Vegeta begining to sniffle.  
  
"What do you mean 'monkeys'???" Questioned Gohan.  
  
"YOU HEARD ME!!!!! MOKEYS!!!!!" Cried Vegeta, as he ran over to Goku and Hugged him.  
  
"HEY!" screamed Goku as he jumped into Vegeta's arms.  
  
"What?" Asked Vegeta.  
  
"I didn't know you cared..." Flirted Goku, winking at Vegeta.  
  
"Y'all are sick!" screamed the lil hamburger- "It's bout'time for me to break!" he said as he jumped out of 17's grasp.  
  
"I don't care.....!!!!!!" Vegeta cried as he dropped Goku on the floor.  
"Some one stop that hamburger, and you!" Vegeta pointed to Goku- "Dance with me JoJo!!" Vegeta yelled as he grabbed Goku and began to do the tango with him. *music appears from backround somewhere*  
  
"Don't Call me JoJo!!!!!" Goku complained as he and face Vegeta danced, the sides of their faces touching.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED....... Will the lil hamburger be eaten? And who was he before he was reincarnated?? Is the lil hamburger even a HE? And where in the world is Bulma? Find out in the next exciting episode of DRAGON BALL Z!!!!  
  
I know... I know... that was weird... without a doubt the most strange fanfic I have ever written and ever will write. (I hope LOL) Don't bash okay? I'm only aiming to make you guys laugh! ^_~ ENJOY the next chapter!! 


	2. Erma's Undies

.::The lil Hamburger::.  
CHAPTER TWO------------ (Erma's Undies)  
  
"Must you guys act so gay???" Whined the lil hamburger.  
  
"Oh don't mind them! They always act gay!" shouted Gohan gleefully.  
  
"That's no excuse!" Said the lil hmaburger- "Cause that looks just plain creepy'man!"   
  
"I know..." sighed Gohan- "You get used to it though.."  
  
"Speak for your own arm pit!" Cried 17 from across the room, who was now sitting the corner mopeing and pouting  
  
"What??" Asked Gohan in confusion.  
  
"See.." corrected 17.  
  
"See what?" Asked Gohan.  
  
"My butt you fool!" cried 17.  
  
"Who would want to look at you'ugly BE-hind!??" cried the lil hamburger,  
  
"My mother!" 17 smiled - "And Dr. Gero!"  
  
"Who's Dr. Gero?" asked the lil hamburger in confusion.  
  
"A VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY lonely, ugly old man!!" Shouted 17 smiling evily.  
  
"That's just wrong..." sighed Gohan raising an eye-brow.  
  
"Eehhhhh so'iz ya face but who's complain'in!" Cried 17.  
  
"Dude! That was MY line!" cried the lil hamburger.  
  
"And that was my pair of underwear!" Screamed 17 pointing to Goku's butt.  
  
"................." A blank expression laid across Gohan's face.  
Vegeta stared at Goku in confusion and pulled himself away from the dancing saiyan.  
  
"Kakarot! Lemme ask you a personal question!" Vegeta screamed in horror.  
  
"Ok...." Goku sighed.  
  
"Is 17 telling the truth about your underwear???!?!?!?!?!" Cried Vegeta.  
  
"Yeah..." Sighed Goku, almost sounding bored.  
  
"I'm breakin NOW!" Said the lil hamburger hopping away.  
  
"NOT SO FAST CHARLIE!!" Cried 17 as he prounced ontop of the lil hamburger.  
  
"Oh!! What is with you lozERs?! First Fred and now Charlie! Dude my name is----" - "DON'T SPEAK THE EVIL THAT YOUR FINGER TOLD YOU!" Cried 17 looking the lil hamburger in the eyes.  
  
"But my finger don't---" "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHUT IT!!!" Cried 17 again.  
  
"Calm Down buddy!" Said Gohan as he patted 17 on the back.  
  
"His butt is BLUE!!!!" 17 cried once more pointing at the lil hamburger.  
  
"First off dude- I don't have no butt! And second! Why would you even pretend to know such a personal fact about a person?" asked the lil hmaburger in disgust and fright.  
  
"I'm psychic! I DON'T pretend.... to know things.... I KNOW.... I know..." 17 laughed evily.  
  
"Errr... right..." commented Vegeta.  
  
"Well! He's lost it!!" Sighed Gohan.  
  
"And your just now begin'in to realise dat!?" asked the lil hamburger.  
  
"Uhhh.... no.. I mean.. well... I.. uhhh...." mumbled Gohan, as Vegeta, Goku, the lil hamburger. and 17 stared at him in confusion.  
  
17 began to laugh uncontrolably. "God almighty! Everyone - And I mean EVERYONE! Knows by now... what a demented psyco-path I am! I'm WAY past 'losing it' dude." Laughed 17 even harder.  
  
"And.... your proud of that?" asked Gohan.  
  
"You bet your mama's honey buns I am!!" cried 17.  
  
"Hey! Leave my mother out of this!!" Cried Gohan.  
  
"Yeah! Chichi don't even have no honey-buns!" Laughed Vegeta.  
  
"Well...." Interupted Goku "Actually...."  
"KAKAROT! SPARE US THE DETAILS!!!" Begged Vegeta -"And tell us why your wearing 17's underpants!!"  
  
"Yes... do tell father." added Gohan.  
  
"uuuhhh....well if I tell you you guys have to promise not to laugh!" Goku comanded questionably.  
Vegeta and Gohan nodded their heads.  
Goku stared at the lil hamburger.  
  
"Aight Man! Just tell us da sick story!" agreed the lil hamburger.  
  
"Okay!" smiled Goku -"Well I was buying myself an ice cream cone about.... a couple of years ago! Cause Yamcha was stalking me again, so I had to run a good two miles before losing him on Main Street. And you know how fast he can run with those----" - "ENOUGH WITH THE LITTLE DETAILS! GET TO THE PLOT MON!" Screamed Vegeta.  
  
"Okay.. well while I was running I spotted 17 in the laundry mat and so after I lost Yamcha and got myself an ice cream cone, I went back a few blocks and decided to pay him a visit! So I went inside the laundry mat and saw 17 riding around on a REALLY REALLY fat woman's back yelling 'Faster Erma! Faster!' and suddenly the woman colapsed into one of the washing machines and let loose a good hundred pairs of her under wear.- That had obviously shrank because they were all really tiny---" - "No Goku! Erma liked wearing uncofatable and tight fitting clothing..." corrected 17.   
"Ohh! Okay! Well anyway...a pair went flying on my face and I had a little trouble getting it off, so 17 got it off my face for me and I decided to wear it on my head- you know like Olong? well anyway! 17 told me that it was his underwear and Erma kept insisting that it was her's. And then 17 started screaming something about mayonase and a training bra so the woman (and 17)---" - "Thank you!!" Cried 17.  
Goku nodded. -"Told me it was a gift in remembrance of Freddy Prince Jr's first high school prom. Well actually that's just what 17 said! Erma just told me to keep them and ran away in a mad fit. But anyway that night I went home with the underwear and uuhhh.. Chichi got mad at me! And well cause you know that they were woman's underwear but we made up and uhhh... now we have Goten!!" Goku ended the long story. (((A/N~ *smiles evily*^_^)))  
  
"Yah.. well dat's nice man!" said the lil hamburger as he hopped up onto the couch.  
  
"So this was BEFORE the cell games Kakarot??" Vegeta asked blankly.  
  
"Yup!" Smiled Goku.  
  
"And if it weren't for 17 and Erma... Goten might not be here??" Asked Gohan nervously.  
  
"Yup!" Goku smiled again.  
  
"That's just sick..." Said the lil hamburger in disgust.  
  
"Yup!" smiled Goku.- "But wait!"  
  
"What Kakarot??" questioned Vegeta.  
  
"How did you know I was wearing the underwear today 17?!?!" asked Goku nervously- staring at 17 in worry.  
  
"I told you!" complained 17- "I'm psychic!"  
  
"Ohh..." Vegeta, Goku, and Gohan all said in relief.  
  
"But wait! If your psychic then you should know who the lil hamburger was before he was reincarnated! Right?" Asked Gohan cheerfuly.  
  
"Uhhh.... actually that's beyond my psychic grasps of the underworld! I only see that -that has died or that - that would have been if not for death!" Said 17 darkly.  
  
"Then... how did you know.. My underwear?!?!" Goku complained.  
  
"Underwear is the deciced form of a once living single- ware wolf parent!" Corrected 17.  
  
"Ohh..." Vegeta, Goku, Gohan, and the lil hamburger said.  
  
"You guys are really begining to freak me out!" Interupted Bra as she walked into the living room grabbing one of her school books off the coffee table.  
  
"YOU! I THOUGHT I LOCKED YOU IN THE BOOMBOX!" Cried Vegeta.  
  
"That wasn't a boombox dad..." said Bra.  
  
"Then what the name of sacred cheesey cheeks was it?!!?!?!?" Screamed Vegeta in a mad rage.  
  
"It was.... The laundry room." Sighed Bra in disgust toward her father.  
  
"Ohh.." said Vegeta embarssed and blankly.  
  
"Soo... while I'm still interested, tell us who you were before you were 'reincarnated' lil hamburger!" requested Bra staring at the lil hamburger.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.......... Who in the world was the lil hamburger? Is 17 really psychic? Why is Vegeta so near sighted? And where is Bulma?!? Find out on the next exicting episode of DRAGON BALL Z!  
  
A/N~ Well that was chapter two! I know- I HAVE A VERY STRANGE MIND. I like to call it unique and special! ^_^ hehehe Chapter Three will be out VERY soon! 


	3. The Reincarnation Of Karoke!

.::The lil Hamburger::.  
CHAPTER THREE----------- (The Reincarnation Of Karoke!)  
  
"Uummm... Well dudet last time I tried to tell y'all that I was secretly (or I secretly USED to be----" "SHUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!" cried 17.  
"That happened..." said the lil hamburger, staring at bra.  
  
"Sooo... 17- Does that mean that you know who the lil hamburger USED to be?" Asked Bra.  
  
"Yes, my dear- foolish comquat. It does..." answered 17.  
  
"....... *blink* *blink*- But I'm not a comqu---" Bra began.  
  
"I DO NOT CARE OF YOUR NAIL-NESS!" Cried 17.  
  
"Uhu.. so why don't YOU just tell us who the lil hamburger was 17?" Suggested Gohan.  
  
"ARE YOU MAD MON!?! If I dare and interfire with the evil spirits of the underworld by speaking that... that.. RUFFIEN'S Name.... I'll be forever banashed from the kingdom of cheese." Told 17.  
  
Vegeta, Gohan, Bra, Goku, and the lil hamburger all stared blankly at 17. *with sweatdrops* ^_^  
  
"Unless..." 17 whispered.  
  
Vegeta, Gohan, Bra, Goku and the lil hamburger all inched toward 17, nodding their hands- motioning for him to continue.  
  
"Karoke!" 17 cried in amusement.  
  
"KAROKE??!!!?!?" They all shouted in confusion.  
  
"What do you mean by karoke?" Asked Gohan fearfully.  
  
"If I hold an official karoke singing and dance contest then as according to......." 17 pulls book out from no-where *searchs through pages* "Page....." *continues searching through pages of book* "511! Rule 12,863.... If someone named 1- followed by any kind of number! Should hold a karoke dance and singing contest then they shall be able to reveal that which of-one-acceptance's-evil-name-of-doom-and-fright-thow that will strike fear in the hearts of millions of heart-less people- and won't be kicked out of this world that which in neither found down below or above your heads, because your feet will never smell as bad as mine!!" Smiled 17.  
  
Goku, Bra, Vegeta, Gohan, and the lil hamburger all stared blankly at each other. *more sweatdrops*  
  
"Translation..." Asked Goku.  
  
"It means that as long as you guys are willing to dance and sing up on stage infront of me then I am allowed to reveal evil of any kind.." 17 Laughed coldly.  
  
"OOHHH...." Goku nodded. "I'm game!"  
  
"That's fine by me. If Kakarot is willing to make a fool of himself- then God-forsake-the-day-Trunks-was-born SO AM I!" Vegeta cried out.  
  
"........Ya well, I don't think that I would want to...." Gohan began- "OH THE MONKEYS OF THE UNDERWORLD WILL PUNISH ME FOR SURE!!!! OOHHHH!!!!! THE AGONY!!!!!! AND IT WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT GOHAN-SA----" 17 was inturpted.  
"Okay! OKAY! I'll sing...." Said Gohan regretfully.  
  
"AND DANCE?" inched 17.  
  
"Yes..." Sighed Gohan.  
  
"Now..... do the rest of you agree??" Asked 17, staring at the rest of the bunch in the room.  
  
"Hai." answered Bra. "This will be the perfect oppertunity to reveal my talent!!"   
  
"Yeah.. Hi to you to.. and uuhhh... YOU HAVE NO TALENT! But thanks for agreeing!" Smiled 17.  
  
"But about you Charlie?" asked 17- staring at the lil hamburger.  
  
"My name ain't no Char-LAY and yea, whateva! Shoo.. I just wanna tell 'em that I used to be.... " -" SHUT'CHOUR MOUT!!!!" cried 17.  
  
*lil hamburger rolls eyes and hops onto to couch*  
  
"We need MORE mushrooms!!" Said 17.  
  
"Mushrooms?" Asked Gohan.  
  
"People to partisapate! DUH!" 17 shook his head in disgust and laughed.  
  
*Trunks walks in room* -"Hey dad!" Trunks shouted out.  
  
"WHAT!" Yelled Vegeta.  
  
"Is 'yup' a word?" Trunks asked staring around the room in confusion, holding a book in his hand.  
  
"How you spell it?" Vegeta asked.  
  
"What does that have to do with---" Trunks was inturupted by the death glare Vegeta through at him. "It's spelled .....Y - U - P..."  
  
"Cause I drank too much!" Laughed Vegeta.  
  
"Very funny da----" Trunks noticed that 17 was sniffing his arm.  
  
"WHAT THE FREAK ARE YOU DOING?!" Trunks cried in horror trying to get 17 off his arm.  
  
"Sniffing you!" Answered 17 simply.  
  
"Well DUH! I wanna know WHY your sniffing me!" Trunks cried.  
  
"To make sure your fresh." 17 answered.  
  
"O-----K....." Trunks nodded in confusion and disgust.  
  
"He's fresh! He'll be good for a talent in the show!" Smiled 17.  
  
"Whoa! Hold on a sec! What are you talking about a show?! and What just do you mean by... fresh??!" Asked Trunks nervously.  
  
"What to you mean by "a talent'?? The blasted child can't do anyting right!!" Screamed Vegeta.  
  
"Aahhh.... That's where your wrong my furry friend!" corrected 17.  
  
"What are you people talking about?!?!" Cried Trunks.  
  
"Karoke of course! What else?!" 17 stated simply.  
  
"What??" *sweat drop* sighed Trunks- staring at his father and 17 blankly *with little dotted eyes* ^_^  
  
TO BE CONTINUED... is 17 really serious about this karoke buisness? And what is to become of Trunks? WHO THE HECK WAS THE lil Hamburger? And when will Bulma get back? Hopefully in time to save her loved ones from total humiliation! Find out on the next exciting episode of DRAGON BALL Z!  
  
A/N~ I have nothing to say..... ^_^ OMG this is sooooo much fun to write! Sorry it's WAY too short though... oh well ^_^ 


	4. The Battle Of The Homosexual Nameks

.::The lil Hamburger::. CHAPTER FOUR------------------------ (The Battle Of The Homosexual Nameks)  
  
"Now as I said before! I need MORE MUSHROOMS!!!" cried 17 madly.  
  
"Well where do you suppose we get these "mushrooms" from??" Asked Gohan a bit scared of the out come of his question.  
  
"DON'T LOOK AT ME GOHAN-SAN! THAT'S YEE'S JOB!" yelled 17.  
  
"Yee's?" questioned Trunks (still with little dotted eyes).  
  
"YES! Yee's! Which part didn't ya understand! The Yuh or tha Eeees??" mocked 17 as he inched toward Trunks.  
  
"Please.. Go away." Said Trunks nervously as he struggled to get 17 off his arm.  
  
"Stop whining brat! You can kill the blasted child for all I care! Just one more misery and burden out of my life!" Laughed Vegeta evilly.  
  
"Ok." smiled 17.  
  
"I don't think.. He meant. to actually KILL me.. 17." sighed Trunks wimpily.  
  
"YES I YANKIE-DOODLE DID!" yelled Vegeta from across the room.  
  
"Well then.." Smiled 17 evilly.  
  
"Dad!!!!" Cried Trunks as he began to struggle to run away from 17.  
  
"WHAT!?!" Vegeta cried in annoyance across the room.  
  
"Come back here my little bird dropping!" said 17 as he inched around the room trying to catch Trunks. Trunks franticly searched around the living room looking for a good place to hide- then looked in back of him and saw 17 hurtling toward him. He had no time to think so he just jumped underneath the sofa and hid there- hoping 17 hadn't seen him hide. But he had.  
  
"Hmm. I wonder where Trunks could be." Smiled 17 sarcastically, as he jumped up on the sofa and began jumping up and down on it. Crushing Trunks's back. About 10 minutes later after 17 had finished jumping, he laid down on the armrest of the sofa, peeked his head down underneath it and whispered, as he looked Trunks in the eyes. - "Hello Clareece..." 17 began to laugh uncontrollably evilly.  
  
"DAD!!!" cried Trunks as he ran out from underneath the sofa and into the Vegeta's arms.  
  
"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU LITTLE FREE GIFT PACKAGE VALIDATION LABEL!!" cried Vegeta as he threw Trunks across the room into 17.  
  
"Finally! You're in my grasp! COME WITH ME!!! And we shall dance merrily into the Sunset!!" 17 laughed as he dragged Trunks out the front door.  
  
"NOOO!!! NOOOOOO!!!" Trunks's screams could be heard even miles away as 17 dragged him along on the hard cement of the road.  
  
"Well that was freakay!" Said the lil hamburger.  
  
"Yes it was quite odd." agreed Gohan.  
  
"Who cares? We have to find mushrooms!" reminded Bra.  
  
"Oh yeah! Well then what is we waiting for?" Said Vegeta.  
  
"YEAH! LET'S GO!" said Goku happily as they as marched out the front door.  
  
"These are some strange people I'm reducing my lil'ol self to associate wit." Pondered the lil hamburger as Goku carried him as they flew through the sky. Constantly giving him hungry glares of doom every 5 seconds.  
  
30 minutes passed by as they searched around for mushrooms, but had no luck. Finally Gohan spoke up.  
  
"Why don't we go to Kami's lookout?" Gohan suggested.  
  
"YEAH! The namek would make a great mushroom!" Cried Vegeta amused by Gohan's idea.  
  
So they flew over to Kami's lookout and all quietly landed on the other end of the platform, so as not to draw attention.  
  
"I say we sneak up behind them, tie them up in saiyan proof chains, and kill Mr. Popo!" Laughed Vegeta.  
  
"You have saiyan proof chains daddy?" Asked Bra curiously, as the others listened carefully.  
  
"Yeah! Why else would I say I have them??" Mocked Vegeta.  
  
"Well where did you get them?" Questioned Gohan.  
  
"Bulma of course! They're hers." Vegeta answered simply.  
  
"Why does Bulma need saiyan proof chains?" Asked Goku.  
  
"There was no other way for the woman to get me in bed! How do you think Bra got created? It sure wasn't my idea!" Answered Vegeta, disgusted by looking back on the memory.  
  
They all just stared at Vegeta disgusted and shocked.  
  
"What are you all looking at??!?" Shouted Vegeta.  
  
"Shhhh. keep your voice down!" Hushed Gohan. -"Come'on guys, let's just get that picture out of our minds and go find Piccolo!"  
  
"I'm emotionally scard for life!!" Cried Bra.- "I'll have nightmares all the time about the night I was created!"  
  
"Ahhhh shut up!" yelled Vegeta.  
  
"Shhhhh!!!" Hushed Gohan again.  
  
"Shhh yourself you Target Patch Letterhead!!" Vegeta snapped.  
  
"Okay." Gohan sighed in confusion.  
  
"Hey guys! Look! There's Piccolo and Dende!" Pointed out Goku. Still eyeing the lil hamburger in hunger.  
  
"Yeah! But what are they doing?" Questioned Gohan nervously.  
  
"I have no idea. I don'think I wanna know though." Said Vegeta a little scared as he inched in back of Goku.  
  
"Ahhh. There's nothing like a good tan to make a girl feel oodles better aih Dende?" Sighed Piccolo happily.  
  
"Totally!" Said Dende.  
  
They were both in extremely tight bikinis listening to soothing tropical music, laying on pink and purple ty-die towels- while Mr. Popo brought them ice cold beverages with little umbrellas in them^_^. And HUGE lamped lights were surrounding over the two nameks, helping them to get better tans.  
  
"Oh my God.." Shrieked Bra, as she stared at the deranged sight.  
  
"Shh!!" Hushed Gohan once again.  
  
But it was too late Piccolo and Dende had already spotted them watching them tan and immediately began to freak out.  
  
"Oh my God Dende! Look at the pervs watching us tan!!" Cried Piccolo girlishly.  
  
"Ewwww!! They're gross! Make them go away Piccolo!" Shrieked Dende as he covered himself with his ty-die towel.  
  
"Take this you sickies!!" screamed Piccolo as he began to throw plastic coconuts at them.  
  
"Oww!" Cried Gohan. "Piccolo's got a good arm!!"  
  
"Shut up you little wimp!" Bra squealed.  
  
"What are they doing??" Asked Goku still in shock.  
  
"COME'ON MEN! GRAB THE SAIYAN PROOF CHAINS AND CAPTURE THEM!!" Cried Vegeta in a rage of anger.  
  
"Piccolo! Oh My God!! They're trying to kidnap us!!" Cried Dende.  
  
"Don't worry Dende I wont let them!!" said Piccolo boldly as he took charge of the situation. "Bring it on you pervs!!"  
  
Everyone was silent for a moment until the lil hamburger shouted out "Okay who else think that didn't sound right??"  
  
They all went dotted eyes and sweat drops formed above they're heads just by thinking of the consequences of the sentence Piccolo had just formed.  
  
Everyone was silent once more.  
  
"GET'EM!!!" Vegeta cried out running toward the apparently homosexual nameks.  
  
They all ran behind Vegeta attacking Dende and Piccolo. And so the battle started as they all found themselves pulling each other's hair and antennas, kicking each other in places they weren't even suppose to know about (when came between Bra and any guy that is) and just tearing each other apart. Until finally they all fell over on the cold hard ground of Kami's lookout and just laid there. In pain and defeat, just barely catching their breaths. 10 minutes flew by and not one of them had shown any signs of movement or life. Everything was silent, nothing could be heard, not even Mr. Popo who had (as promised by Vegeta) already been murdered. By Vegeta none the less.  
  
Finally someone struggled the attempt to get up off the ground, he looked around and saw everyone laying on the ground. Battered and bruised, he glared over at the sight of Mr. Popo dead on the ground in a puddle of blood, with a knife in his heart.  
  
He searched around once more for any signs of life, but found nothing. It was all so silent and peaceful, aside from the pitch-black corps laying a few feet away from him. It was all very tranquil and quiet. A pin drop would have sounded like an explosion at the moment. He finally decided to break off the silence to see if anyone would respond to words.  
  
  
  
"Unda-Pants!!" Vegeta cried out.  
  
Everyone immediately jumped up from where they lay and the battle started all over again.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED. Will this insane battle ever end? Will we ever see Trunks again? Who is the lil hamburger? And where in the world is Bulma??! Find out on the next action packed episode of Dragon Ball Z!!  
  
A~N-- That was chapter four! You likies?? ^_^ I'll be updating a lot more from now on!! I promise!! ^_~ c ya! 


	5. Quest For The Mushrooms Begins

.::The lil Hamburger::. CHAPTER FOUR------------------------ (Quest For Mushrooms Begins)  
  
As the battle continued on, with the hair pulling, the ball kicking, all of it. Goku suddenly realized the whole reason that they had even come here; he was quick to spot the saiyan proof chains as he ran over to them. He noticed that Bra had also stopped battling, as of the result of Piccolo and Dende torturing Gohan-san by undressing him, from head to toe and then putting a bright red bikini on him. As Vegeta just stood there and watched, while the lil hamburger gnawed on Piccolo's butt.  
  
Bra smiled at Goku and quickly helped him pick up the chains.  
  
"Come'on Goku! You take that end, I'll take this end." Bra began.  
  
"Okay, start over on Dende, I'll handle Piccolo and we'll meet in the middle okay?" Goku commanded questionably.  
  
Bra nodded her head, as they both charged over toward the nameks and the half naked Gohan. And began wrapping them up in the chains, leaving them both defenseless.  
  
"Hahaha!" Laughed Gohan heroically, placing his fits on the side of his hips. Enjoying the victory of his freedom from their bikini wearing grasps.  
  
Piccolo and Dende just stared at him in confusion. And then they both began to laugh at Gohan uncontrollably.  
  
A sweat drop formed on everyone's head as they all fell over anime style, all but Gohan. Who was not in the least bit offended by their mockful laughs.  
  
"Oh yes. You laugh now you green tanning men! But just wait! Just wait until we make you our mushrooms!!!" Laughed Gohan evilly.  
  
Dende and Piccolo stopped laughing at that moment pondering the strange and demented things that Gohan could have meant by "mushrooms". They were quite the whole trip back to Vegeta's house.  
  
"Okay! So now what do we do with them?" Asked Bra.  
  
"Well. I think we should store them somewhere safe, and out of site! That way when Bulma comes home-" Gohan began but was interrupted by Vegeta- "If, she comes home!" Shouted Vegeta.  
  
"Yes.. if she comes home, then she wont be startled by the sight of two gay, green men in her living room!!" Gohan said.  
  
"Put'em in the hall closet!!" Yelled Vegeta.  
  
"Yeah! And lock it up with a key!!" Suggested Goku.  
  
"Okay!" Said Gohan curiously, as he placed the two green men in the closet.  
  
"Here's the key!" Said Vegeta as he came running out his bedroom.  
  
"Okay! Thanks Vegeta." Said Gohan as he locked the door.  
  
"Yeah.. Whatever!" Yelled Vegeta.  
  
"Hey Gohan! Lemme see that key." Asked Goku, still looking VERY hungry.  
  
"Here- catch!!" Exclaimed Gohan as he threw the key toward his father. Goku opened his mouth as wide as possible and allowed the key to be thrown right in, as he swallowed it whole.  
  
"Thanks!" said Goku cheerfully, licking his lips.  
  
"FATHER!!" cried Gohan.  
  
"What?" questioned Goku innocently.  
  
"YOU BAKA KAKAROTTO! YOU ATE THE KEY!" Screamed Vegeta waving his arms in the air.  
  
"So?" Asked Goku.  
  
"NOW WE WONT BE ABLE TO RETREEVE THE GOLDEN BANANAS!!" Vegeta screamed once more.  
  
"What?? Golden Bananas?? What' are you talking about?" Questioned Gohan, as he stared widely at Vegeta.  
  
"What I think daddy was trying to say was." Began bra, but was cut off by her father's loud ramblings. - "I MEANT WHAT I SAY, AND I SAY WHAT I MEANT YOU CLASSIFIED DOCUMENT YOU!!" Screamed Vegeta in a mad rage.  
  
"Okay." Sighed Bra in confussion.  
  
"Father! Now nobody can get them out now!" Gohan said worried.  
  
"Exactly!!" exclaimed Goku.  
  
"Not even us you Baka-Ass!" Blurted Vegeta.  
  
"What are you talking about Veggie-chan?" questioned Goku happily.  
  
"DON'T CALL ME VEGGIE-CHAN!!" screamed Vegeta.  
  
"We can just blast down the door and whala! They're out!" Solved Goku, feeling clever.  
  
"You're a fool Kakarot." Sighed Veegta, disgusted by the sight of his rival.  
  
"Wha??" Questioned Goku.  
  
"THE DOORS ARE KI PROOF! THERE'S NO WAY WE CAN POSSIBLY GET IN NOW!!" screamed Vegeta.  
  
"Ki proof?" Questioned Gohan nervously.  
  
"It's true." interrupted Bra. -"Mom saiyan proofed the entire house, so as not to take the chance of any of these guys burning her house to the ground." Sighed Bra in disappointment of her own words.  
  
"Damn." Exclaimed the lil hamburger.  
  
"Oh well." Sighed Gohan.  
  
"Who cares!?" Screamed Vegeta.- "Let's go find more mushrooms!!"  
  
"YEAH!" They all exclaimed at once.  
  
And so their second quest to seek the mushrooms began, as they flew searching high and low to find mushrooms!  
  
"Hey! I've got and idea!" Exclaimed Goku merrily.  
  
"Wow, that's a first." Mocked Vegeta, laughing at his own joke. Naturally because no one else would.  
  
"What's your idea Goku?" Asked Bra sweetly, ignoring her father's bitterness.  
  
(((A~N- Just to let you guys know Bra can fly in this fic k? ^_^)))  
  
"I say we all should spilt up! And find at least one mushroom on our own." Suggested Goku.  
  
"Yeah! That's a great idea dad!" Exclaimed Gohan- "And we all can meet back at Vegeta's house!"  
  
"Sounds coo.." said the lil hamburger.  
  
"I'm game!" Shouted Bra.  
  
"Well then what are we waiting for? LET'S GO!" Said Gohan.  
  
"WAAAAAAAIIIITTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Vegeta at the top of his lungs, he screamed so loudly, that his yelling could be heard all the way across the globe.  
  
--  
  
"What was that?" questioned the man behind the counter.  
  
"I'm not sure." Bulma mumbled, clutching her bag in her arms.  
  
--  
  
"What is it Vegeta?!" Screamed Gohan.  
  
"I don't like the idea! It's stupid." Vegeta protested.  
  
"Vegeta! Why do you always have to be such a stick in the mud??" Questioned Goku.  
  
"STICK IN THE MUD?!? WHY YOU LITTLE!" threatened Vegeta, raising a fist in the air.  
  
"BOYS, BOYS! Stop this nonsense at once!" Bra demanded. -"Daddy, your right!"  
  
Vegeta smiled evilly and victoriously at Goku.  
  
"Goku! You're a right too!" Bra smiled.  
  
"WHAT?!" Screamed Vegeta.- "WE CAN'T BOTH BE RIGHT!!"  
  
"Ahh,,, but you are daddy!" Bra insisted. -"Goku, your idea was very clever! Very clever indeed!"  
  
Vegeta began to grind his teeth.  
  
"But daddy.." Bra stared over at her father. - "You do make a wonderful point!" Bra winked at Gohan- telling him she was just acting for her father's well being.  
  
"So if you don't want to be all alone searching for a mushroom! Then I totally and 100% agree and support your dissension!" Said Bra warmly. -"That's why I'm gonna let lil hamburger go with you"  
  
"What??" Vegeta questioned nervously.  
  
"This way you wont be alone!!" Bra smiled -"BYE DADDY!!" she shouted out as she flew away in the opposite directions of the rest of the group.  
  
"Oh boy!" Exclaimed Vegeta angrily.  
  
"Well I guess iz just me an you!" exclaimed the lil hamburger sounding disappointed.  
  
"Yup." Sighed Vegeta.  
  
"So what now?" The lil hamburger asked.  
  
"Well. I guess you go find a mushroom!" answered Vegeta scratching his head.  
  
"MAN! Why y'all peoples keep callin 'em mushrooms?!" Asked the lil hamburger.  
  
"I don't know!! Because 17 told us to you fool! Why else?" answered Vegeta questionably.  
  
"So do you always do what otha people tell ya?" asked the lil hamburger.  
  
"NO! I NEVER DO WHAT OTHER PEOPLE TELL ME!!" Screamed Vegeta.  
  
"Then why don you start call'in'em people insteda mushrooms dude?" Asked the lil hamburger.  
  
"FINE! MAYBE I WILL!" Yelled Vegeta. -"But if I do, it wont be because you told me to!!"  
  
"I know! I know! Daz coo!" said the lil hamburger -" So uhhh.. lez go get those people! Eh?"  
  
"Whatever!" Said Vegeta as he fly off, the lil hamburger on his back.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED. Will are Z warriors ever find mushrooms? And if they do who will they be? Where is Bulma? And who was that guy at the counter? WHO IS THE LIL HAMBURGER? And will 17 be back in time to host the karaoke contest? FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF DRAGON BALL Z!!!  
  
(((A~N~ This chapter was a lot of fun to type^_^ I reeaaallly hope you guys like it, and if you do PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! Your reviews help me to decide whether or not I want to keep writing this fanfic! I PROMISE THERE WILL BE A LOT MORE HUMOR IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!!  
  
Peace~^_^ 


	6. Floaty Crowny Things

.::The lil Hamburger::.  
CHAPTER SIX-----------------(Floaty Crowny Things)  
  
  
  
And so the gang went searching for the mushrooms they needed for 17's kareoke contest, all using their own methods of kidnapping of course. While Vegeta and the lil hamburger were busy arguing about which direction they should head in- all the rest of the gang had already found their first victim, it was just a matter of how to capture them.  
  
But when 17 had told them to search for mushrooms he forgot to tell them about one very important   
detail!!! And as he came to realize this he began to fear for the worst.  
  
"HOLY CHEESE!!!" 17 suddenly cried out as he dragged, the now unconscious Trunks along the   
side walk.  
  
"When I told them to search for mushrooms I forgot to tell them about one very important detail!!!" 17 dreaded as he began to swing Trunks back and forth onto the hard cement of the road.  
  
"I must contact them all at once!! Haha.. did ya hear what I said Trunks??!" 17 laughed.  
  
"Uuhhh???" Moaned Trunks as he struggled to raise his head up from the road.  
  
"THAT'S RIGHT!!!" Cried 17 happily, as he threw Trunks in front of a speeding truck in the road.  
  
"I said... I must contact them all (at once) Get it?? Like saying all of them, all at once. ALL!!   
hehe but also like saying at once- like right away!! MWAHAHAHAHA!! I kill me!!" laughed 17 as  
he began snorting while he rolled around on the road, as speeding cars hit him and only got tossed   
aside by his hard metal body.  
  
"CONTACTING ALL JELLYFISH!!!" yelled 17 at the top of his lungs- he yelled so loudly that it didn't even sound like his voice any more- his voice sounded like the guy in the 3rd row's voice. You know that  
guy right? THINK PORKY PIG CARTOONS!! silly.. 


	7. The Camelot Dream Sequence

.::The lil Hamburger::. CHAPTER SEVEN------------------------ (The Camelot Dream Sequence)  
  
"CONTACTING ALL JELLYFISH!!" Repeated 17 in that same weird guy in the third row voice.  
  
Suddenly the Z senshi all went blank and silent at the sound of 17's newfound voice.  
  
"Hey Trunks it's working!! They can hear me!!" 17 shrieked joyfully as he shook Trunks violently by his shirt collar. "aaaa.." moaned Trunks as drool dangled from his lower lip, with his doted eyes and classic sweat drop totally unaware of what was going on around him. "aaa?? HOW DARE YOU SAY AAAAA TO ME!!" 17 screamed in his evilest voice (which sorta sounded like ersala's voice when she was the GIANT octopus in the little mermaid)  
  
"You'll regret the day you ate my couch you feather lick'in pimp daddy!" 17 yelled as he threw Trunks in the middle of the road only to be run over by the traffic speeding by.  
  
"Now where was I?" pondered 17 "oh yes."  
  
"WHEN I TOLD YOU JELLYFISH TO FIND MUSHROOMS I LEFT ONE IMPORTANT DETAIL OUT, AS SOON AS YOU SPOT YOUR TARGET YOU MUST CALL OUT THE FIRST WORD THAT COMES TO MIND AND HIT THEM IN THE MOST UNUSUAL PLACE THINKABLE!! THIS WILL CAUSE THEM TO PASS OUT JUST LONG ENOUGH SO THAT YOU MAY MILK THEM. eerrr.. I MEAN BRING THEM TO ME!!" 17 commanded. "Muauahahahahahahahahahahahahaa!!!"  
  
"That is all. we now return to today's normally scheduled programming.." informed 17 as a shaved squirrel and a painted pink frog shows up on your computer monitor for continuing a soap-apra.  
  
"Oh Ondray.. hold me!!" cried out the pink frog.  
  
"That was very.. strange.." exclaimed Gohan. "I suppose I should do as he says."  
  
And so they all set out to capture their mushrooms the way 17 told them to.  
  
And within one hour Bra had already captured her mushroom, Yamcha, with the word "Raspberries" and kicked him in his right eye. And she was now on her second victim.. Yajarobee she crashed in threw the window screaming the first word that came to mind "Gym-Sock!!" and punched him in both of his armpits, and so she washed her hands and then set off back toward Vegeta's house.  
  
--  
  
Goku had been having a hard time figuring out who he wanted to capture and when he finally decided his stomach led him else wear to the first Denny's Diner he could find- when he ran in threw the doors and ordered 2 helpings of everything on the menu.  
  
We'll get back to Goku later..  
  
--  
  
Meanwhile Vegeta and the lil hamburger are still arguing over which way they should go.  
  
"We go dis way!!" Vegeta commanded.  
  
"No man, dat way!!" Hollered the lil hamburger.  
  
"No dis way!!" Vegeta yelled.  
  
"No, dat way!" ordered the lil hamburger.  
  
"No, dis way!!" screamed Vegeta.  
  
"No, dat way!" argued the lil hamburger.  
  
"NO DIS WAY YOU LITTLE MOTHER F*****!!!" Vegeta Screamed at the top of his lungs.  
  
We'll just come back to them later. *sweatdrop*  
  
--  
  
Meanwhile Gohan has just spotted his first Mushroom, as he breaks down his mother's front door and hollers "Lange-ray!!" and elbows her in her "ChiChi".  
  
(((A~N~ sorry I just had to say that!!)))  
  
And flies back to Vegeta's house holding onto his mother by her foot as she dangles in the air unconscious.  
  
--  
  
Meanwhile Goku is still eating.  
  
"I'll make up my mind as soon as I finish this bowl of rice!!" assures Goku to the viewers.  
  
--  
  
"No, we go dis way!!" Cried Vegeta.  
  
"No, we go dat way!!" shrieked the lil hamburger.  
  
"No, we're goin dis way!!" ordered Vegeta.  
  
"Nah!! DAT WAY!" called out the lil hamburger.  
  
"NO dis way!!!!!" screamed Vegeta.  
  
"NO, dat way!" the lil hamburger pointed toward the right.  
  
"No, we go. hey wait a doodly-scum-boogers-minute!" hollered Vegeta. "You have no arms or fingers or hands!! How are you pointing??"  
  
"With my pickle man!!" informed the lil hamburger.  
  
"Ohhh.." realized Vegeta. "But I didn't order any pickles on you!!"  
  
"Dude I ony'got 'ONE' pickle." Snickered the lil hamburger.  
  
"Well so do I!! But I didn't order you to have a pickle!!" Cried Vegeta in confusion.  
  
"Man, you'don gotta order'no'one to'got a pickle! I didn'orda you ta have no pickle but'chu got'one!" Argued the lil hamburger.  
  
"Oh yeah!! Well I bet my pickle is bigger than your pickle!!" exclaimed Vegeta angrily.  
  
"Chu. lemme'see it then!" asked the lil hamburger.  
  
"Fine! As long as I can see yours too!" Vegeta grumbled.  
  
"aight.." assured the lil hamburger.  
  
"All right then here's my pickle.." exclaimed Vegeta as he reached down his pants only to pull out an old dried up pickle that was on his subway sandwich two months ago.  
  
(((A~N~ and you thought this was gonna be perverted!! Shame on you! Get your mind outta the gutter!!")))  
  
"Dude! Dat pickle'all strunched up!!" pointed out the lil hamburger.  
  
"You know, I was saving it for a snack." Vegeta explained. "Well there's no time like the gift!!" said Vegeta as he popped the pickle into his mouth and crunched it up.  
  
"You mean the 'present'." Correct the lil hamburger.  
  
"That's what I said!! The gift!!" Smiled Vegeta.  
  
"Aight.. whateva you'say chief." Stepped off the lil hamburger.  
  
"HOLY MAMA'S A BIRD DROPPINGS!! I FEEL A DREAM SQUENCE COMING ON!!" cried Veggie.  
  
"Ahhshit.." breathed the lil hamburger.  
  
  
  
~*~*~*Drifting off into dream squence*~*~*~  
  
As Sir 17, the boldest and most expensive of the knights, lost his way in the Forest of Ewing, at nearby Swamp Castle, a celebration was underway.  
  
Setting: A small garret room in the Tall Tower of Swamp Castle.  
  
The King Vegeta and his son the Prince Trunks.  
  
Vegeta: (gesturing expansively out the window) One day, lad, *all* this will be yours.  
  
Trunks: What, the curtains?  
  
Vegeta: No, not the curtains, lad! All that you can see, stretched out over the 'ills and valleys of this land. That'll be your kindom, lad.  
  
Trunks: But, Mother...  
  
Vegeta: Father, lad, Father.  
  
Trunks: But, Father, I don't want any of that.  
  
Vegeta: Listen, lad: I built this kingdom up from nuthin'. When I started here, all of this was swamp! Other kings said it was *daft* to build a castle in a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em! It sank into the swamp. SO, I built a second one! That sank into the swamp. So I built a *third* one. That burned down, fell over, *then* sank into the swamp. But the fourth one......stayed up. And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the *strongest* castle in these islands. Trunks: But I don't want any of that! I'd rather...  
  
Vegeta: Rather what?  
  
Trunks: I'd rather...just...sing!......  
  
Vegeta: Stop that! Stop that! You're not going into a song while I'm here! Now, listen, lad. In twenty minutes you're gettin' married to a girl whose father owns the biggest *tracts* of open land in England.  
  
Trunks: But I don't want land!  
  
Trunks: Listen, Alex...  
  
Son: Trunks.  
  
Vegeta: 'Trunks... We live in a bloody swamp! We need all the land we can get!!  
  
Trunks: But... but I don't *like* 'er!  
  
Vegeta: don't like 'er?!? What's wrong with 'er? She's... beautiful, she's...*rich*, she's got... HUGE............. tracts o' land...  
  
Trunks: Ah...ah know. But I want the girl that I marry to have...a certain...*special*...something...  
  
Vegeta: Cut that out!! Cut that out.... You're marryin' Princess Pan, so you'd better get used to the idea! GUARDS!!! Make sure the prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get 'im.  
  
Guard 1-Goku: Not to leave the room, even if you come and get 'im.  
  
Guard 2-Dende: *Hic*  
  
Vegeta: No no.... *Until* I come and get him.  
  
Guard 1-Goku: Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room.  
  
Vegeta: No no, no... You *stay* in the room, and make sure *he* doesn't leave.  
  
Guard 1-Goku: And you'll come and get him.  
  
Guard 2-Dende: *Hic*  
  
Vegeta: Right.  
  
Guard 1-Goku: We don't need to do anything, apart from just stop him, entering the room.  
  
Vegeta: No no. *Leaving* the room.  
  
Guard 1-Goku: Leaving the room, yes.  
  
Vegeta: All right?  
  
Guard 1-Goku: 'Right.  
  
Vegeta: Right.  
  
Guard 1-Goku: Oh! If if if uhhhh.... if if uhhhhh.... If if if we......  
  
Vegeta: Yes, what is it?  
  
Guard 1-Goku: Oh. I-if....... Oh....  
  
Vegeta: Look, it's quite simple.  
  
Guard 1-Goku: Uh.....  
  
Vegeta: You just stay here, and make sure 'e doesn't leave the room. All right?  
  
Guard 2-Dende: *hic*  
  
Guard 1-Goku: Oh, I remember! Uhhhh, can he leave the room with us?  
  
Vegeta: No...nono, no. You just keep him in 'ere, and make sure...  
  
Guard 1-Goku: Oh yes, we'll keep him in here, obviously, but if he *had* to leave, and we *were* with him...  
  
Vegeta: nononono just KEEP HIM IN HERE  
  
Guard 1-Goku: ...Until you or anyone else...  
  
Vegeta: No, not anyone else, just me...  
  
Guard 1-Goku: ...Just you...  
  
Guard 2-Dende: *hic*  
  
Vegeta: Get back.  
  
Guard 1-Goku: Get back.  
  
Vegeta: All right?  
  
Guard 1-Goku: Right, we'll stay here until you get back.  
  
Guard 2-Dende: *hic*  
  
Vegeta: And, uh... make sure 'e doesn't leave.  
  
Guard 1-Goku: What?  
  
Vegeta: Make sure 'e doesn't leave!  
  
Guard 1-Goku: The prince??????  
  
Vegeta: Yes, MAKE SURE 'E DOESN'T LEAVE...  
  
Guard 2-Dende: *hic*  
  
Guard 1-Goku: Oh, yes, of course!! I thought you meant him! You know, it seemed a bit daft me having to guard him when 'e's a guard...  
  
Vegeta: Is that clear?  
  
Guard 1-Goku: Oh, quite clear, no problems!  
  
Guard 2-Dende: *hic*  
  
Vegeta: Right. Where are *you* going?  
  
Guard 1-Goku: We're coming with you!  
  
Vegeta: No no, I want you to *stay* here and MAKE SURE 'E DOESN'T LEAVE!  
  
Guard 1-Goku: Oh, I see, right!  
  
Trunks: but father...  
  
Vegeta: Shut your noise, you! And get that suit on. AND NO SINGING!  
  
Guard 2-Dende: *hic*  
  
Vegeta: Oh, go and get a glass of water. (leaves)  
  
Trunks looks at the Goku and Dende.They look at him.He smiles.They smile back. He gets a pen a paper out. He smiles at them. They smile back. He scribbles something on it very fast, not looking at it. He smiles at the Goku and Dende. They smile back. Trunks gets a bow and arrow from the wall. He sticks the note on the arrow. He smiles at Goku and Dende. They smile back. He side-steps to the window. He smiles at the Goku and Dende. They smile back. He shoots the arrow with the note out the window. He puts down the bow. He smiles at Goku and Dende. They smile back.  
  
Guard 2-Dende: *Hic*  
  
Meanwhile, at a nearby stream, Sir 17 approaches. We hear horse's hooves in the distance. Sir 17 appears, behind Piccolo, who is banging two coconut halves together to make the noise of a horse.  
  
17: Ho! Well taken, Piccolo! Steady there, boy!  
  
Piccolo: (as he falls as the arrow shot by Trunks sinks deeply into his flesh) Message for you, sir. (he falls)  
  
17: Piccolo!! (spying the arrow) A note! "To whomever finds this note. Help. I am being held prisoner by my father who wishes me to marry *against my will*!! Please please please please rescue me. I am in the Tall Tower of Swamp Castle." A quest! A damsel in distress! Oh, Piccolo, noble Piccolo, you shall not have died in vain!  
  
Piccolo: I'm not quite dead yet, sir!  
  
17: (a bit put off) Well...you shall not have been...mortally wounded in vain!  
  
Piccolo: I think I could pull through, sir.  
  
17: (a bit more put off) Piccolo, maybe you'd better stay here and rest a bit, eh?  
  
Piccolo: Oh, I think I could come with you, sir...  
  
17: No, no, Piccolo, brave soul, you shall stay here, and I...I shall undertake a perilous quest to win freedom for a maiden and eternal fame for myself. Farewell, Piccolo!!  
  
Scene: The drawbridge of Swamp Castle. Two guards standing here looking very bored. Off in the distance, they see 17 running towards them waving his sword in the air. They look at each other, then back at 17. They seem confused. He does not get any closer, though he keeps running. The guards look at each other again. One taps his forehead. They lean on their pikes and idly watch Sir 17 still running towards them and getting nowhere. They look at each other. Suddenly 17 appears right next to them and runs them both through. They die, considerably surprised.  
  
17 runs through the castle, slicing, dicing, grating, mincing, and otherwise generally killing the entire populace. He fights his way up to the Tower through the throngs of bewildered wedding guests. He reached the Tower and throws open the door.  
  
Guard 1-Goku: Hello! Urggh.  
  
Guard 2-Dende: *Hic*  
  
17: Milady, here kneels the humble Sir 17 of Camelot, Knight of the Round Table, and I stand ready to deliver you from  
  
-- You got my note!  
  
17: Well, I got *a* note...let's not jump to conclusions...  
  
Trunks: I *knew* some one would read it and rescue me! I've got a rope all ready! Let's climb down!  
  
Vegeta: What's all this!?! Are you the one who killed all my guests?  
  
Trunks: He's come to rescue me!  
  
Vegeta: Shut your noise, you. Well, what about it?  
  
17: Well, I suppose I may have got...a bit... carried away with the moment... Vegeta: Carried away?!? Look, whoever you are, you not only ruined my wedding reception, and caused me great mental anguish, but you killed the bride's father and kicked the bride in the chest! Now what sort of behavior is that??? Who are you, anyway?  
  
17: Well, I am Sir 17 of King Kami's Court, and I--  
  
Vegeta: King Kami?? King-of-England Kami? And you're one of his Knights of the Round Table?  
  
Trunks: I'm ready, Sir 17!  
  
17: Well...yes...and I'm awfully sorry about the fuss...  
  
Vegeta: Fuss? Nonsense!! Why, Sir 17, consider yourself my honored guest, please! (quietly) Lots of land up by Camelot, eh?  
  
17: Well, I'm terribly sorry about killing all those people...and kicking the bride...  
  
Trunks: Hurry, Sir 17!  
  
Vegeta: Don't worry about a thing, sir. Just come downstairs with me, will you? I want to introduce you to everyone.  
  
17: Well, thank you....Thank you very much...  
  
Vegeta: I won't be a minute, Sir 17....  
  
Trunks: (from outside) Are you coming, Sir 17? Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!! (thump)  
  
Vegeta: (liltingly) Coming, Sir 17...  
  
Sir 17 goes down the stairs. Upon recognizing him as the one who caused all the damage, the remaining guests shout such things as, "There he is!" and, "He's the one!" and, "Get him!" Launcelot draws his sword and goes beserk again.  
  
Vegeta: Oh, bloody hell.  
  
17 is at last subdued before causing too much damage, save only kicking the bride again, and the Vegeta prepares to make a speech.  
  
Vegeta: Ladies and gentlemen. This man whom you see beside me is my own honored friend, Sir 17 of Camelot. He has come all this way just to---  
  
Olong: He killed the bride's father!!  
  
Vegeta: Oh, come now! Let's not bicker and argue about 'oo killed 'oo! Sir 17 has come to celebrate with me the joyful occasion of my son's marriage to Princess Pan. Unfortunately, my son Herbert (someone calls out "Is' name was Trunks!") has just fallen to his death from the Tall Tower. (gasps) But, I like to think of myself, not as having lost a son, but as having gained a daughter. For, since the father of the bride perished in most untimely circumstances....  
  
Videl: He's not quite dead yet....  
  
Vegeta: (thrown) Er...since her father has come so close to death as to be considered dead...  
  
Videl: I think he's coming 'round!  
  
Vegeta: Since her father, who, when it seemed he was just on the verge of recovery, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him...  
  
(thump)  
  
Videl: He's kicked off!  
  
Vegeta: Right...I should like the Princess to think of me as her own Dad. In the firm and legally binding sense. And, as this is meant to be a wedding day, I would like to welcome Sir 17 into my family, and give him the hand of my new daughter in earnest token of my esteem for him and his title.  
  
17: Well, really, I must be going, I don't think--  
  
Vegeta: Going? Nonsense! Why, how could you leave me at a time like this, so recently bereft of my only son?  
  
Piccolo: He's not quite dead yet! (general reaction)  
  
Vegeta: Oh, bloody hell.  
  
Videl: But, how on earth did you survive the fall from the Tall Tower?  
  
Trunks: Well, I'll tell you...  
  
Vegeta: No! Wait! Stop that!  
  
Guests: *singing* He's going to tell, he's going to tell, he's going to tell, he's going to tell! He's going to tell, he's going to tell, he's going to tell, he's going to tell!  
  
Piccolo: Quick, sir, let's get out of here. This way.  
  
17: No, no. I need something more...more...  
  
Piccolo: Dramatic, sir?  
  
17: Dramatic! Right! This bell pull will do... grabs bell pull.  
  
Runs up stairs. Jumps in the air. Swings down towards the window. Falls about twelve feet short, having not given himself a very good start. Swings back and forth for a short time.  
  
17: Err...could someone give me a push?  
  
~*~End Dream Sequence~*~  
  
"MAKE IT STOP!!!" Vegeta cries. "MAKE IT STOP!!!!!" Vegeta gets down on his stomach throwing a fit like a little baby, screaming in agony.  
  
"hey'chief!! Iz ova!!" exclaims the lil hamburger.  
  
"It is??" Vegeta jumps up from the ground in shier joy.  
  
"Yeah. man-you'wuz da one'oo started'dat dream sequence!! MAN.." reminded the lil hamburger.  
  
"Oh.. yeah.." snorted Vegeta. "You know what?"  
  
"wha?" asked the lilhamburger.  
  
"WE GO DIS WAY!!" yelled Vegeta with a smirk.  
  
--  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
"I'm almost done with my rice!!" cries out Goku reassuringly to you guys (the viewers).  
  
TO BE CONTINUED. what the hell was that dream sequence about? Will the Z senchi ever find their mushrooms? Will Sir 17..e err. 17 ever stop torturing Trunks? Where in Kami's name is Bulma? AND WHO IN SARCRED CAT POOPOO IS THE LIL HAMBURGER?? Find out on the next exciting episode of DBZ  
  
(((A~N~ well I finally updated the lil hamburger!! I hope that didn't bore you too much.. and just to let you guys know I don't own Monty Python or DBZ^_^ Please review and tell me if you liked the dream sequence or if it sucked. Please tell me I wont be offended ( aren't you just feeling so scared right about now??))) 


End file.
